January 14, 2013
One year ago today I moved to NYC. I know that probably doesn’t mean much to most people but it means a lot to me. It was a full year of firsts and a year full of hardships. You have to realize that this year represents me taking one step closer to following my dreams. Dreams that until this year were so far off that I didn’t really ever think that they could possibly come true. Dreams that could come to life and fulfill that deep part inside of me that longs to perform or dreams that could absolutely fall apart and shatter all over the floor in front of me. Success or Failure? Both are possible and becoming more real each and every day.
I’m at the point in my life that most people forget to talk about. I’m no longer in college but I’m not quite an adult. I’m in between homework and having a legit job. I don’t know if this is normal or if it is due to being an actor or this crazy economy, but I’m stuck in the middle. I’m not really moving forward and not really moving backwards. I’m just here trying to make the best out of life.
Don’t get me wrong…I love living in NYC! I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt I’m exactly where I am suppose to be. I have been auditioning and started to make some really good contacts. I live in a city that has so much to offer and I am doing my best to soak up as much of the culture here as possible. But just living in the city is not enough…I need more or I need to move on to something else.
I feel like sometimes I’m in a catch 22. Auditioning for theatre takes a lot of time and money. You need to take audition classes, dance classes, voice lessons, and acting classes. You need to buy audition clothes and shoes, current headshots and resumes, sheet music, and pay your union dues. (A union that continues to let too many touring shows to go out nonunion.) You have to sell yourself to agents and managers just hoping that they might take you on, placing a little more hope in your career with someone else in your corner. All of these things take money and while you so very much wish to be doing all of these things, you can barely pay for NYC rent as it is. But I hang in there, hoping that one day my luck will change and I can afford a class or two and maybe find representation. I stay committed to staying in NYC so that when the chance finally presents itself, hopefully I can grab it and hold on to it.
As I look forward to my second year in NYC, I stay positive in thinking that I will take another step towards making my dreams a reality. Success or Failure? No one really knows. Maybe that’s what keeps us on this crazy rollercoaster…